Brad Pitt Portrait

"OK, I'm Brad Pitt starring in the movie "Troy." In this scene my shirt's off...yeah...check out the six-pack. Don't touch; it's just a movie screen. Just look and faint if you want. I have this shot all to myself. I don't have to share it with Peter-Ugly-Ass-O'Toole or any other wannabe. I'm Brad Pitt--but you can call me Achilles." (I painted this using MS Paint.)

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Leonardo Da Vinci

"Mona? Lisa! Where are you, girl?! You promised to be here at 2.00 P.M.! I have an appointment to paint the 'Last Supper' at 3.00 P.M. and I don't want to be late! Where is that girl?!" My painting of Leonardo Da Vinci, a scientist, engineer, mathematician, musician and artist--my idol.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Polka-Dot Universe

OK, so how many polka dots can you find in this drawing?

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Books Rock!

"Whoa, Ted!" "What up, Bill-dude?" "Books rock, Ted-dude!" "Whoa! That's awesome, dude. Like...that's totally unheinous!" "Yeah-huhuhuh! Now if I can only learn to read."

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Lacota Warrior

"Oh Wankantanka, make me worthy!" Chief Yellow Hand, a Yakota warrior, says a prayer to the sun god Wankantanka. His tribe captured an English Lord who was first a slave and given the humiliating name of "Horse," but later became Chief himself when Yellow Hand was killed in a Shishone raid. Shashowacan--A Man Called Horse--is one of my favorite films.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Swordfish

"Those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Yeah...right! Like I really have a choice!"

Check out Melissa's Balmy Bahamas Blog.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Geisha Goddess

If you knew Sushi like I know Sushi...Oh! Oh! Oh what a gal!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

People Bug Me or Bugs People Me

Caption: "I'm in a bad mood! I think I'll crawl up someone's ass!"

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Happy Independence day and 4th of July!

"I'm only on the dollar bill and Ben is on the hundred? Why does that bald geek get the 100 dollar bill? I am the father of this country! I demand to be on the hundred!" If George Washington was the father of our country--he must have been a very busy man! (A joke my high school biology teacher told.) Philidelphia freedom took me knee-high to a man...yeah...Gave me peace of mind my daddy never had....(One of my favorite Elton John songs. He was British; how ironic.) Isn't it amazing that a war was fought and a new nation born because of a three percent tea tax? Now we are taxed to death--federal, state, local, sales tax, inflation, property taxes, a tax on my phone bill for the deaf, dumb and blind, ad nauseum. Hey George! Maybe it would have been easier if the Colonists simply sent a representative to Parliament--like the Canadians did. Oh well. Can't cry over spilled blood. This is a great country and I wanna wish everyone a happy Independence Day! And fourth(4th) of July!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

My Ex

Created using MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Cicada

"Pssst! I'm a cicada. I am definitely an enchanted animal. I have magic powers. Start with two of me, and within a short time, there will be thousands of me--just ask Noah. We will make your garden disappear. Just like magic! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Peter O'Toole

Peter O'Toole, one of my all-time favorite actors. This is my portrait of him starring in the film "Troy," where he was told that the Trojans had landed. I believe his line was, "Are they delivering my package from Amazon.com?"

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Me Paris Hilton Portrait

"Hey...like...could you get the phone? I'm...like...tied up at the moment."

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Columbus Discovers IHOP

"Screw the East Indies! Let's stop at that new world over there and order some blueberry pancakes at IHOP!"

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Scooby Kid

Caption: It's amazing what some kids will do for a Scooby snack!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Lone Pineapple

Caption: I'm the only fruit who doesn't have a date tonight!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Dandy Lion

I created this image using MS Paint and Microsoft Digital Image software. I first painted the rose, then drew the lion's head over it.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

And To Think They Named Underwear After Us

Caption: And to think they named underwear after us!

I created this image of a bowl of fruit (which includes bananas,apple,pear,grapes,orange and kiwifruit) with MS Paint and photo editor.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Lost In Space

"Captain, Why don't we stop at Denny's and ask directions and maybe get a bite to eat?" "Dammit, Jim, for once I agree with Spock. I'm a doctor--not a fry cook!"

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Star Blimp

To boldly go where no tires have gone before.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Trump Fantasy Castle and Casino

Introducing...are you ready for this? (Drum roll).....the Trump Fantasy Castle and Casino!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Paradise Found But Not Appreciated

Paradise is a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there? Yeah right! You would much rather live in your cockroach-infested apartment with the leaky roof and bad plumbing. Paradise is way too quiet and relaxing--better to have noisy neighbors and an unsafe neighborhood with really bad schools.

Check out Melissa's Balmy Bahamas Blog.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

SM Cat

"Come over here. Let me put my claws in your face. Come on! You know you love it. It hurts so good..."

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Bling Mut

"Bling Mut." Hey, even ancient Egyptian Pharohs had pets. Bling Tut was no exception.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

'Sun vs. Moon' Smackdown!

Sun: Hey, move over, moon! I'm the star of this show!

Moon: You're such a primadona! You always have to outshine everyone, don't you! Just wait until the next eclipse! Then you'll be sorry!

Sun: "Ha! Two can play at that game! Now get your moon out of my face!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Bling Tut

He's the pharoh king; the king of bling; he ain't no pimp or fashion slut; he's the cool-boy king; his name is Bling Tut...(He does a hip-hop dance)....Yo yo, all-ight, he can do the monkey; he's so funky; he's a pure-bred dawg; he ain't no mut; he's the king of bling; his name is Bling Tut....I'm out!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Eye Sea the Eyes Have It

Eyes come in pairs:
A sister and a brother;
When two pairs meet,
They gaze into each other;

The eyes of two friends,
A mother and child,
Some eyes are calm
And some are wild!

Hazel, brown or green,
Some are blue as the sky;
Always there for each other,
An eye for an eye.


The title of this drawing is "Eye Sea the Eyes Have It." It was created using MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

The Rome Depot

Caption: Centuries ago, during the reign of Nero, a great fire consumed and devastated the city of Rome! It was time to rebuild. It was time to take a trip...a trip to The Rome Depot. Rome Depot is your complete Rome improvement store for all your Rome and garden needs. Rome Depot is proud to announce the grand opening of our new store in Pompeii. Conveniently located at the foot of Mount Vesuvius. Just take the Appian Way exit, and you're there!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Queen Victoria's Secret

Caption: I say, govnah, the British Empire is at its apex. The only thing left to do is start my own line of sexy lingerie.

I created this painting using MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Chuck the Duck

Caption: I swear...if one more person calls me 'lameduck," it's gonna come down in chunks!

I created this image using the MS Paint program.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Bob the Wonder Horse

Caption: Move over Pegasus! Move over Trigger! Move over Mr. Ed! Introducing...(drum roll)...Bob the Wonder Horse! Why is he called Bob the Wonder Horse? Feed him a bag of burritos and he'll show you...

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Trojan Horse

Caption: But Priam, doesn't that trap door look a little suspicious?

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Curse of the Sphinx

Caption: The mummy's curse? Ha! You ain't seen nothin' yet!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

The Invasion of Troy

I created this image with MS Paint. This is my take on the invasion of Troy.

Caption: Helen honey! Can you hear me? I'm comming for ya, baby!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

The Professionals

This is my painting of Burt Lancaster's stunt double climbing a cliff in Mexico, in the 1966 flim "The Professionals" Lee Marvin also starred in this action-adventure. My favorite line from Marvin: "Yes, I'm a bastard. In my case, I was an accidental birth--but you, sir, are a self-made man.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Stork

Caption: You want babies? I deliver--but I have a no-refund, no-return policy.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

I'm in the Pink

Caption: I'm in the pink! Happy new year!

The above image was created by MS Paint. I was goofing around, and this is what resulted.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!