Polar Bear Blues

"Oh well...this spot is as good as any, I guess." (Created with MS Paint.)

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Brad Pitt Portrait

"OK, I'm Brad Pitt starring in the movie "Troy." In this scene my shirt's off...yeah...check out the six-pack. Don't touch; it's just a movie screen. Just look and faint if you want. I have this shot all to myself. I don't have to share it with Peter-Ugly-Ass-O'Toole or any other wannabe. I'm Brad Pitt--but you can call me Achilles." (I painted this using MS Paint.)

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Leonardo Da Vinci

"Mona? Lisa! Where are you, girl?! You promised to be here at 2.00 P.M.! I have an appointment to paint the 'Last Supper' at 3.00 P.M. and I don't want to be late! Where is that girl?!" My painting of Leonardo Da Vinci, a scientist, engineer, mathematician, musician and artist--my idol.

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Cicada

"Pssst! I'm a cicada. I am definitely an enchanted animal. I have magic powers. Start with two of me, and within a short time, there will be thousands of me--just ask Noah. We will make your garden disappear. Just like magic! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

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Peter O'Toole

Peter O'Toole, one of my all-time favorite actors. This is my portrait of him starring in the film "Troy," where he was told that the Trojans had landed. I believe his line was, "Are they delivering my package from Amazon.com?"

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Me Paris Hilton Portrait

"Hey...like...could you get the phone? I'm...like...tied up at the moment."

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Eye Sea the Eyes Have It

Eyes come in pairs:
A sister and a brother;
When two pairs meet,
They gaze into each other;

The eyes of two friends,
A mother and child,
Some eyes are calm
And some are wild!

Hazel, brown or green,
Some are blue as the sky;
Always there for each other,
An eye for an eye.


The title of this drawing is "Eye Sea the Eyes Have It." It was created using MS Paint.

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Queen Victoria's Secret

Caption: I say, govnah, the British Empire is at its apex. The only thing left to do is start my own line of sexy lingerie.

I created this painting using MS Paint.

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Trojan Horse

Caption: But Priam, doesn't that trap door look a little suspicious?

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Curse of the Sphinx

Caption: The mummy's curse? Ha! You ain't seen nothin' yet!

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The Invasion of Troy

I created this image with MS Paint. This is my take on the invasion of Troy.

Caption: Helen honey! Can you hear me? I'm comming for ya, baby!

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I'm in the Pink

Caption: I'm in the pink! Happy new year!

The above image was created by MS Paint. I was goofing around, and this is what resulted.

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Portrait of a Little Girl

Caption: Hi, I'm the Gingerbread Girl. I caught the Gingerbread Man and bit his head off. I always wanted to do that.

The above image is a portrait of a friend's daughter. She, the daughter, loves gingerbread. So I dubbed her the Gingerbread Girl. I created this portrait using MS Paint.

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Water Fantasy Art

Caption: Oh pooh! I dropped the soap!


Water has always fascinated me. Painting it is so challenging because it is transparent, yet the eye can see it as something tangible. It is fascinating the way water falls: it falls straight down and corkscrews; it falls in waves, droplets and streams, and it foams.


I created the images above and below with all this in mind. I used MS Paint as my medium.



Caption: What your bottled water looks like before it is processed.

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