Me Drawings and Me Artwork

Glenn Beck Banner

2010-12-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

National Velvet--NOT!

2009-06-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

A portrait of a friend and her favorite horse starring in a bogus remake of "National Velvet." "Don't worry, Boy, I won't let them take you to the glue factory!" (Created with MS Paint.}

Star Trek Reflection

2009-06-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

Elaan of Troyus prepares to enter the wormhole aperture. (Created with MS Paint.)

Christal Meadow

2009-06-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Created with MS Paint.

Survivor

2009-06-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

I dedicate this painting to my friend, Lady Neeetah. She is battling cancer. She is more than amazing, more than stupendous--she's a survivor. (Created with MS Paint.)

The Road Less Traveled

2009-06-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

"Why follow the herd when you can take the road less traveled? Now if I can just find the damn road!" (Created with MS Paint.)

Harry Potter's Cat

2009-06-06T00:22:00.000-07:00

"Harry Potter always disappears into thin air when it's time to change my litterbox!" (Created with MS Paint.)

The Next Little Mermaid

2009-06-02T11:10:00.001-07:00

Here is a mermaid portrait of a friend of mine created with MS Paint.

Mini MI MI

2009-06-01T02:09:00.000-07:00

This is the little red-headed girl that Charlie Brown had a crush on. (Created with MS Paint.)

Leopard Lethargy

2009-05-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

Leopards have spots so they can blend into the background and be undetected by their prey. This leopard just got through devouring some unsuspecting Green Peace volunteers. (Belch!) (Created with MS Paint.)

Don't Call Him Bambi!

2009-05-23T22:29:00.001-07:00

His parents could have named him Mike, Bob or Fred...but NO....! They had to give him the name Bambi. The animals of the forest made fun of him, "Hey look! It's mambi-pambi Bambi! Hahahahahaha!" But after a time, hunters killed his parents, but did not kill Bambi. Hmmmmmmmmmm....?

White Tiger

2009-05-23T01:08:00.000-07:00

"Hey! I'm not lion! I really am a white tiger!" (Created with MS Paint.)

Portrait of Lily

2009-05-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

A portrait of Lily who is seven years young. Created with MS Paint.

My Happy Place

2009-03-26T21:21:00.000-07:00

Created with MS Paint.

Esther

2009-03-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

A portrait of Esther. (Created with MS Paint.)

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Mini-French Chef

2009-03-12T23:32:00.000-07:00

Created with MS Paint.

LepreKid

2009-03-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

This is a portrait of a friend's new son. It was created with MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Troyan Babe From Star Trek

2009-03-04T21:19:00.000-08:00

When I was 10 years old I used to dream about this Troyan babe from that Star Trek episode where she cries and Captain Kirk wipes her tears and falls hopelessly in love with her. They were married soon after but then were divorced as soon as the spell wore off. She got the Enterprise and he got the Shuttle and had custody of Spock and Bones on weekends. At least that's how my crazy dream went.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Billy Chrystal

2009-02-27T21:44:00.001-08:00

"Hi, I'm Billy Chrystal. I can't tell a lie--people see right through me." (Created with MS Paint.)

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Geeta Buzzy Portrait

2009-02-27T13:30:00.000-08:00

Created with MS Paint.

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Home School Lunch Box

2009-02-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

Home school lunch box.

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Portrait of Charity

2009-02-26T12:22:00.000-08:00

A portrait of my friend Charity.

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Venice or New Orleans?

2009-02-14T15:26:00.000-08:00

Venice or New Orleans? You decide!

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The Trolliminator!

2009-02-05T18:53:00.000-08:00

Tired of Internet trolls? Introducing the Trolliminator! Melt away those unwanted trolls with the flick of your wrist!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Lioness

2009-02-03T16:40:00.000-08:00

"Hey Ma, what's that?"
"Oh that's that crazy guy who thinks he's an ape and wears a loin cloth."

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Gator-Aid

2009-01-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

"Yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaw!! It's time fo some Gator-Aid, Baybay!"

(Painted with MS Paint.)

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Polar Bear Blues

2009-01-16T14:05:00.000-08:00

"Oh well...this spot is as good as any, I guess." (Created with MS Paint.)

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Lion in Winter

2009-01-14T23:57:00.000-08:00

I painted this using MS Paint.

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Rapa Nui--Easter Island

2009-01-12T22:23:00.000-08:00

"Hey guys, is that the legendary white canoe that is destined to take the Birdman and his faithful followers to paradise?" "Nah, it's just Gilligan and the SS Minow." (I painted this using MS Paint.)

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Mayan Ruins

2009-01-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

Let's see...did I forget something? I went grocery shopping--check! I took out the trash--check! I washed the dishes--check! Oh! I almost forgot! Paint ancient Mayan temple and post it on Blogger.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Brad Pitt Portrait

2008-12-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

"OK, I'm Brad Pitt starring in the movie "Troy." In this scene my shirt's off...yeah...check out the six-pack. Don't touch; it's just a movie screen. Just look and faint if you want. I have this shot all to myself. I don't have to share it with Peter-Ugly-Ass-O'Toole or any other wannabe. I'm Brad Pitt--but you can call me Achilles." (I painted this using MS Paint.)

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Leonardo Da Vinci

2008-11-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

"Mona? Lisa! Where are you, girl?! You promised to be here at 2.00 P.M.! I have an appointment to paint the 'Last Supper' at 3.00 P.M. and I don't want to be late! Where is that girl?!" My painting of Leonardo Da Vinci, a scientist, engineer, mathematician, musician and artist--my idol.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Polka-Dot Universe

2008-08-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

OK, so how many polka dots can you find in this drawing?

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Books Rock!

2008-08-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

"Whoa, Ted!" "What up, Bill-dude?" "Books rock, Ted-dude!" "Whoa! That's awesome, dude. Like...that's totally unheinous!" "Yeah-huhuhuh! Now if I can only learn to read."

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Lacota Warrior

2008-08-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

"Oh Wankantanka, make me worthy!" Chief Yellow Hand, a Yakota warrior, says a prayer to the sun god Wankantanka. His tribe captured an English Lord who was first a slave and given the humiliating name of "Horse," but later became Chief himself when Yellow Hand was killed in a Shishone raid. Shashowacan--A Man Called Horse--is one of my favorite films.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Swordfish

2008-08-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

"Those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Yeah...right! Like I really have a choice!"

Check out Melissa's Balmy Bahamas Blog.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Geisha Goddess

2008-07-15T14:02:00.000-07:00

If you knew Sushi like I know Sushi...Oh! Oh! Oh what a gal!

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People Bug Me or Bugs People Me

2008-07-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

Caption: "I'm in a bad mood! I think I'll crawl up someone's ass!"

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Happy Independence day and 4th of July!

2008-07-03T11:54:00.000-07:00

"I'm only on the dollar bill and Ben is on the hundred? Why does that bald geek get the 100 dollar bill? I am the father of this country! I demand to be on the hundred!" If George Washington was the father of our country--he must have been a very busy man! (A joke my high school biology teacher told.) Philidelphia freedom took me knee-high to a man...yeah...Gave me peace of mind my daddy never had....(One of my favorite Elton John songs. He was British; how ironic.) Isn't it amazing that a war was fought and a new nation born because of a three percent tea tax? Now we are taxed to death--federal, state, local, sales tax, inflation, property taxes, a tax on my phone bill for the deaf, dumb and blind, ad nauseum. Hey George! Maybe it would have been easier if the Colonists simply sent a representative to Parliament--like the Canadians did. Oh well. Can't cry over spilled blood. This is a great country and I wanna wish everyone a happy Independence Day! And fourth(4th) of July!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

My Ex

2008-06-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

Created using MS Paint.

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Cicada

2008-06-17T14:07:00.000-07:00

"Pssst! I'm a cicada. I am definitely an enchanted animal. I have magic powers. Start with two of me, and within a short time, there will be thousands of me--just ask Noah. We will make your garden disappear. Just like magic! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Peter O'Toole

2008-06-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

Peter O'Toole, one of my all-time favorite actors. This is my portrait of him starring in the film "Troy," where he was told that the Trojans had landed. I believe his line was, "Are they delivering my package from Amazon.com?"

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Me Paris Hilton Portrait

2008-06-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

"Hey...like...could you get the phone? I'm...like...tied up at the moment."

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Columbus Discovers IHOP

2008-05-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

"Screw the East Indies! Let's stop at that new world over there and order some blueberry pancakes at IHOP!"

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Scooby Kid

2008-05-23T22:45:00.001-07:00

Caption: It's amazing what some kids will do for a Scooby snack!

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Lone Pineapple

2008-05-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

Caption: I'm the only fruit who doesn't have a date tonight!

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Dandy Lion

2008-05-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

I created this image using MS Paint and Microsoft Digital Image software. I first painted the rose, then drew the lion's head over it.

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And To Think They Named Underwear After Us

2008-05-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

Caption: And to think they named underwear after us!

I created this image of a bowl of fruit (which includes bananas,apple,pear,grapes,orange and kiwifruit) with MS Paint and photo editor.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Lost In Space

2008-05-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

"Captain, Why don't we stop at Denny's and ask directions and maybe get a bite to eat?" "Dammit, Jim, for once I agree with Spock. I'm a doctor--not a fry cook!"

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Star Blimp

2008-05-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

To boldly go where no tires have gone before.

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Trump Fantasy Castle and Casino

2008-05-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

Introducing...are you ready for this? (Drum roll).....the Trump Fantasy Castle and Casino!

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Paradise Found But Not Appreciated

2008-04-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

Paradise is a nice place to visit but you wouldn't want to live there? Yeah right! You would much rather live in your cockroach-infested apartment with the leaky roof and bad plumbing. Paradise is way too quiet and relaxing--better to have noisy neighbors and an unsafe neighborhood with really bad schools.

Check out Melissa's Balmy Bahamas Blog.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

SM Cat

2008-04-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

"Come over here. Let me put my claws in your face. Come on! You know you love it. It hurts so good..."

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Bling Mut

2008-04-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

"Bling Mut." Hey, even ancient Egyptian Pharohs had pets. Bling Tut was no exception.

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'Sun vs. Moon' Smackdown!

2008-04-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

Sun: Hey, move over, moon! I'm the star of this show!

Moon: You're such a primadona! You always have to outshine everyone, don't you! Just wait until the next eclipse! Then you'll be sorry!

Sun: "Ha! Two can play at that game! Now get your moon out of my face!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Bling Tut

2008-04-06T11:15:00.000-07:00

He's the pharoh king; the king of bling; he ain't no pimp or fashion slut; he's the cool-boy king; his name is Bling Tut...(He does a hip-hop dance)....Yo yo, all-ight, he can do the monkey; he's so funky; he's a pure-bred dawg; he ain't no mut; he's the king of bling; his name is Bling Tut....I'm out!

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Eye Sea the Eyes Have It

2008-03-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

Eyes come in pairs:
A sister and a brother;
When two pairs meet,
They gaze into each other;

The eyes of two friends,
A mother and child,
Some eyes are calm
And some are wild!

Hazel, brown or green,
Some are blue as the sky;
Always there for each other,
An eye for an eye.

The title of this drawing is "Eye Sea the Eyes Have It." It was created using MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

The Rome Depot

2008-03-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

Caption: Centuries ago, during the reign of Nero, a great fire consumed and devastated the city of Rome! It was time to rebuild. It was time to take a trip...a trip to The Rome Depot. Rome Depot is your complete Rome improvement store for all your Rome and garden needs. Rome Depot is proud to announce the grand opening of our new store in Pompeii. Conveniently located at the foot of Mount Vesuvius. Just take the Appian Way exit, and you're there!

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Queen Victoria's Secret

2008-03-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

Caption: I say, govnah, the British Empire is at its apex. The only thing left to do is start my own line of sexy lingerie.

I created this painting using MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Chuck the Duck

2008-03-04T20:33:00.000-08:00

Caption: I swear...if one more person calls me 'lameduck," it's gonna come down in chunks!

I created this image using the MS Paint program.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Bob the Wonder Horse

2008-02-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

Caption: Move over Pegasus! Move over Trigger! Move over Mr. Ed! Introducing...(drum roll)...Bob the Wonder Horse! Why is he called Bob the Wonder Horse? Feed him a bag of burritos and he'll show you...

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Trojan Horse

2008-02-24T10:11:00.000-08:00

Caption: But Priam, doesn't that trap door look a little suspicious?

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Curse of the Sphinx

2008-02-19T20:01:00.000-08:00

Caption: The mummy's curse? Ha! You ain't seen nothin' yet!

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The Invasion of Troy

2008-01-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

I created this image with MS Paint. This is my take on the invasion of Troy.

Caption: Helen honey! Can you hear me? I'm comming for ya, baby!

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The Professionals

2008-01-24T01:22:00.000-08:00

This is my painting of Burt Lancaster's stunt double climbing a cliff in Mexico, in the 1966 flim "The Professionals" Lee Marvin also starred in this action-adventure. My favorite line from Marvin: "Yes, I'm a bastard. In my case, I was an accidental birth--but you, sir, are a self-made man.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Stork

2008-01-20T23:22:00.000-08:00

Caption: You want babies? I deliver--but I have a no-refund, no-return policy.

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I'm in the Pink

2008-01-01T15:00:00.000-08:00

Caption: I'm in the pink! Happy new year!

The above image was created by MS Paint. I was goofing around, and this is what resulted.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Portrait of a Little Girl

2007-12-31T02:47:00.000-08:00

Caption: Hi, I'm the Gingerbread Girl. I caught the Gingerbread Man and bit his head off. I always wanted to do that.

The above image is a portrait of a friend's daughter. She, the daughter, loves gingerbread. So I dubbed her the Gingerbread Girl. I created this portrait using MS Paint.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Me Cartoons

2007-12-28T19:02:00.000-08:00

Caption: No man is an island, but an island is an island.

Caption: Don't...call me mermaid!

Caption: Someone told me to go jump in the lake. I thought he was serious.

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Olympic Torch

2007-12-28T18:50:00.000-08:00

Caption: I have carried this torch for a thousand miles, over mountains, through valleys and streams, and all kinds of weather. So why must I now carry the friggin' thing around the track?

Once again, I used MS Paint to create the above image.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

My First Portraits of People

2007-12-28T18:30:00.000-08:00

The above image is a portrait of my neighbor Kenny. He gave me a high school graduation photo to work with. I created this image using MS Paint.

By the way, Kenny is single and his friday nights are free.

The portrait below is a woman who was reported missing, on the news. Her name is Paige. When I saw her photo, she looked like someone I could paint. This was my first attempt at portrait painting.

As a side note, I hope she is found and is alright.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Water Fantasy Art

2007-12-26T20:24:00.000-08:00

Caption: Oh pooh! I dropped the soap!

Water has always fascinated me. Painting it is so challenging because it is transparent, yet the eye can see it as something tangible. It is fascinating the way water falls: it falls straight down and corkscrews; it falls in waves, droplets and streams, and it foams.

I created the images above and below with all this in mind. I used MS Paint as my medium.

Caption: What your bottled water looks like before it is processed.

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Alexander-the-Great Art

2007-12-26T19:14:00.000-08:00

Caption: Boy, that was some fertilizer!

The above image was created using MS Paint. I took a gold-plated image of Alexander the Great, then cropped it to the shape of a coin, created a reverse exposure copy (thus the blue coins), and finally pasted them on a potted plant I painted.

The following image was also created using MS Paint. The background and pillers are a photograph of Pella, Macedon--the birthplace of Alexander the Great. I pasted on a single piller an image of Alexander's head, then painted the blood trickling down.

Caption: Blood is the price.

Yes, blood is the price paid for all wars throughout history, for whatever purposes they were fought.

Click here for drama, comedy and adventure!

Nessie: the Loch Ness Monster

2007-12-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

I created this image of a plesiosaur (aka Nessie or the Loch Ness Monster) by using MS Paint. I took parts of another image that I thought would make a great underwater background and foreground. I then drew Nessie, and pasted her on. This was an image that was supposed to accompany a humorous article published at associatedcontent.com; however, the editors forgot to include it.

If you are a Nessie fan, you can find plenty of Nessie merchandise right here.

So This is What Happens When You Use the B-word

2007-12-19T13:57:00.000-08:00

Caption: So this is what happens when someone uses the b-word.

This another image I created with MS Paint. The head on the stick is a cartoon self-portrait of my profile. My friend, David, thinks I look a little like Adolph Hitler. Thanks David! It's time to draw you next! LOL!

Click here to buy a t-shirt or mug with this cartoon and caption.

Let's Head over to Cyclops Island

2007-12-16T12:34:00.000-08:00

Caption: Hey guys! I've got it! I know this nice little spot called Cyclops Island...

I created the above painting with MS Paint. Not an easy task, let me tell you! Painting with a mouse is extremely awkward and frustrating! At times I wanted to throw the mouse into the river! The other frustrating thing is the colors do not blend but overlap each other, so it is hard to achieve subtle shades. Notwithstanding these difficulties, I was able to make a painting that sort of resembles an ancient Greek ship being rowed out to sea.

My thanks to you for taking a gander at it. Click here to buy a t=shirt or mug with this picture on it.

Melissa the Great

2007-12-16T12:06:00.000-08:00

I created this image using MS Paint. This is a portrait of my good friend Melissa. She emailed me a photo of herself, and I used it as a model. Her photo looked as though it was taken in her office or some room in her house. I thought, why not spice it up a bit. Wonder how she would look in a tunic, surrounded by the ruins of the ancient theatre of Pella, Macedon (where Alexander the Great originated, then went on to conquer the known world)?